Are you frustrated with your employees and wonder what you
can do to improve their efficiency and reduce your stress?
Would you like to be more successful as a boss, manager,
etc.?
Are you an employee and you want to enjoy working with your
superiors, reduce your stress, and be more effective? If
you answered yes to any of the above, then read on and
learn some important insights and solutions to assist you
to reach your goal.
As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I heard many
clients complain about their bosses and employees. I
realized that they were having similar problems. The number
one issue seemed to be that they were projecting other
people in their lives on each other. Therefore, they were
not seeing one another clearly.
It is important to remember that we are all human beings,
no matter what role we are playing. We all have feelings
and beliefs whether we are aware of them or not. In a
sense, it is similar to a loving relationship, in that some
of the same basic principles apply.
For example, Stan, a forty-two-year-old engineer, felt his
manager, Bob, was too critical and that he could never
please him. He felt not good enough and unmotivated to do a
good job. I helped Stan feel better with a process I
developed called, HART (Holistic And Rapid Transformation).
When I asked Stan who his boss Bob reminded him of, his
father came to mind. Once I helped the engineer resolve
his childhood issues with his dad, he felt more positive
about himself, his boss, and his work.
I noticed that men and women often projected their mother
and father issues on their bosses or other authority
figures. I also learned that supervisors often treated
their employees the way they were treated by their parents.
Ironically, they hated the criticisms they received when
they were growing up. Unfortunately, as adults, they were
unconsciously repeating the negative behaviors that were
modeled for them.
For example, there is a good chance that Bob was criticized
by his parents, and therefore he was acting the same way
toward Stan.
To help bosses and employees receive what they need to be
effective at work and with each other at work, I wrote the
following poems. These suggestions can improve professional
relationships which are likely to increase the success of
all concerned.
Imagine that you are saying the following to your boss,
employer, manager, etc.
Dear Boss
Please…
Be patient with me.
Compliment me when I do well.
Tell me specifically what you want and need.
Show compassion when I’m upset.
Value what I say to you.
Be kind and constructive when I make a mistake.
“Attack” the issues to resolve and not me or you.
Help me solve problems with win-win solutions.
See the humor in our situations.
Treat me as you would like me to treat you.
Thank you for hearing me. I appreciate you!
Imagine that you are addressing your employee with the
following words:
Dear Employee
Please…
Be patient with me.
Tell me what I do that you appreciate.
Let me know what you don’t understand.
Keep your agreements.
Share with me when you’re upset so that I can understand
your behavior.
Help me identify the problems and solve them with win-win
solutions.
Communicate all your suggestions so that we can find better
ways to reach our goals.
See the humor in our situations and they’ll be easier to
deal with.
Realize that you are an important part of the team.
Know that you’re okay and good enough no matter what
happens.
Thank you for hearing me. I appreciate you!
Notice that there are some similar desires. We all want and
need appreciation, clear, constructive communication,
kindness, and patience. With these understandings, you have
a better chance of enjoying your work, reducing yoru
stress, and being more successful.
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Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a
Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker,
and author. Her newest book is, “ALL YOU NEED IS HART!â€.
She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3
audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free
newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
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