Being a good negotiator is a skill you will find useful in
many situations. The skills you will develop will
facilitate your being more effectively assertive, being a
better problem solver, and being a better conflict manager.
Developing the skills is sometimes tedious and requires a
lot of practice. The payoff is both substantial and
positive, though.
At first, it will be useful to move through the negotiation
process in a step-by-step manner. With practice and
experience, you will gradually get to a point where
effective negotiating is second nature to you and is not
something that requires a lot of detailed activity. At
first, though, it is important to develop a negotiating
plan and then seek out opportunities to practice. It is a
little like learning to play the piano. Learning how is
tedious and time consuming. Being able to play well,
however, is a very satisfying thing indeed.
PRELIMINARY ACTIVITIES
What do you want that I have, control, or can do? As odd as
it may seem, this is frequently the step that inexperienced
negotiators leave out. Very specifically, what do you want
that I have? Here, we are talking about things, about
concrete and tangible objects. What do you want that I
control? Here we are talking about opportunities,
resources, time, or other less tangible ‘things.’ What do
you want me to do that I can do? Here, it is important to
think in terms of things that anyone with my skills, in my
position, and with my resources ‘can do.’ In very specific
terms, what do you want from me?
With ‘it’ referring to what you want, can I actually give
it to you? This is another point that amateur negotiators
frequently overlook. What they want is something that the
other person cannot, as a matter of individual choice, give
to them. Perhaps other people are involved, maybe it is not
something that the individual has the right or authority to
simply give away, perhaps it is not something that the
person can actually do, or maybe there are other factors
that have to be taken into consideration other than simply
deciding to give it to you. Under these conditions, simply
negotiating with you is not enough, since I cannot simply
give you what you want. Be sure that your negotiations are
directed to the individual or people who can give it to
you. Who all do you need to include in the negotiations?
You should not leave anyone out.
Assuming I can give you what you want, under what
conditions do you think I can give it to you? If you
believe that I will simply give it to you without
conditions, there is nothing about which to negotiate.
Simply ask me and I will give it to you. Here, though,
let’s assume that you think I will give it to you under
some conditions. In specific terms, what are those
conditions?
Under what conditions will you accept it – accept what you
want – assuming I am willing to give it to you? Yes, you
undoubtedly have conditions. Suppose you want to use my car
for a week while yours is in the shop. It is my car, and I
can let you use it. You think I will let you use it if you
agree to take good care of it, bring it back with a full
tank of gas, and you pay my bus fare for the week. Suppose
my conditions are a little different, however.
I agree to let you use my car for one week if you agree to
make my car payments for one year. You will undoubtedly
say, ‘No way.’ The point is that you do have conditions.
Under what conditions will you accept what you want if I
give it to you?
NEGOTIATING FOCUS
A successful negotiation is a conditional transaction. We
do business under certain conditions. If you are still in
the game to this point, you have a clear statement of what
you want, a set of conditions that you think I will have in
doing business, and your conditions for doing business.
Make a chart with two columns with the left column
including a list of your conditions and the right column
including a list of my conditions. Now, what are the points
of convergence: conditions on your list and on mine? The
more points of convergence there are, the further along the
negotiations are going in. Your goal, of course, will be to
reach a point where there is complete convergence, a point
where the conditions on your list are the same as the
conditions on my list.
What are the points of divergence: conditions that are on
your list but are not on mine and conditions that are on my
list but not on yours? Being careful to be very specific,
now, make a master list that includes only our points of
divergence, noting beside each point whether it is my
condition or your condition. We will then negotiate our
points of divergence.
As a central negotiating principle, keep in mind that you
are never negotiating about what you want. That is a given
and is actually nonnegotiable. If you did not want it,
there is no point in pursuing it. We are simply negotiating
the terms and conditions under which I will give it to you:
our points of divergence. Amateur negotiators frequently
fall into the trap of focusing on what they want. Skilled
negotiators focus on the points of divergence: what we will
call the transfer conditions.
CONSIDERATION AND LIMITS
What do you have, what do you control, or what can you do
that would be of value to me? Look at my transfer
conditions. You may use them as a guide for determining
what may be of value to me in this particular negotiating
situation. Make a list that includes what you can give to
me in this particular negotiating situation. Make notation
of why you think it would be of value to me. What benefits
will I derive? What you give to me combined with the
benefits I will derive from it represent the consideration
you are offering in the negotiation.
As a summary point, you have determined what you want, have
determined the transfer conditions, and now have determined
what your consideration can be to induce me to follow
through with the transfer. The stage for negotiating is set.
What are your negotiating limits? Review your list of
consideration elements. Can you actually transfer control
of them to me? What are the long and short term
implications for you of making this transfer? Once you have
considered the implications, revise your consideration list
to include only those things you can give to me without
jeopardizing yourself over time. This final list is what
constitutes your negotiating limits: the maximum
consideration you are prepared to introduce into the
negotiations. At no point, and especially not during a
specific negotiating session, should you go beyond your
negotiating limits, no matter how tempting it may be. Yes,
you may miss an opportunity once in a great while. The
advantage to you is this: making an unexpected offer you
cannot refuse is a game run by truly skilled negotiators.
Assume that he/she is at least as skilled as you are and is
not about to ‘give away the store.’ What seems like an
unexpected prize will usually turn out to be something for
which you will pay dearly and without the benefit of prior
thought or analysis. As good negotiators say, ‘Never come
to the bait!’
Importantly, following all of the above steps gets you to
what you think will be the final outcome of the
negotiations. You think you will get what you want, the
full consideration I have to offer. You have also
determined your negotiating limits: the maximum
consideration you will offer. If you want, simply make your
best offer on a take it or leave it basis. This is, of
course, not negotiating. It is rather simply making a
nonnegotiable offer. What should you do if you want to
negotiate, though? Simply list the preliminary transfer
conditions: the least you are willing to accept and what
you believe – hope – might be the least I would accept in
return. These then represent the minimum transfer
conditions. If you have carefully completed your
preliminary work as outlined above, negotiations may now
begin.
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This article is excerpted from The Frustration Factor from
Glenbridge Publishing. For more articles and information
from Gary Crow, visit http://www.LeadershipVillage.com
or http://www.LeadershipVillage.org
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