Stop Waiting for Someone to Produce You
I can remember when I would wait for opportunities to come
to me. I would stand by the idea that “whatever is supposed
to happen will happen” and then one day it occurred to me
that all I was really doing was hiding. What was behind
that hiding was, “Who do I think I am to be amazing and
fabulous, AND wealthy?” I wasn’t coded for success. I was
coded for approval.
Since I’ve been coaching other entrepreneurs on building
their own successful, sustainable businesses, I’ve seen
this same syndrome dozens if not hundreds of times.
Sometimes it’s a question of, “Will I really be able to
handle the success?” or “If I am so abundant and
successful, then I’m taking away from others.” Of course,
neither of these is true. First, you are always set up to
put systems in place that will embrace your growth rather
than stunt it and second, the more successful you are, then
the more success there is for others. There is nothing
spiritual, kind, or gracious about holding yourself back
because when you do, you are actually holding others back
as well. When you hold back your gifts, you rob the world.
Your gifts are not for you alone. When you truly use your
talents to serve others, then you are truly living your
purpose and when you profit from this-even better; you have
more to give and the success cycle fuels itself. See?
Now that we have that straight, let’s go to the deeper form
of sabotage I’ve seen in others and myself: waiting for
someone else to do it for you. That same question of, “Who
do I think I am?” can be pretty sly and sneaky by fooling
us into believing we aren’t capable, which shows itself as,
“I don’t know enough,” or “If I do this and succeed, then
people will see that I’m actually capable and no one will
take care of me. I’ll always have to do everything by
myself.” Yikes. This is also cutting off your purpose and,
I can pretty much bet on it, stunting your profit.
Making things happen
Copyright (c) 2007 A Marketing Connection
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a million goals,
plans and ideas and not enough time in the day to put a
dent in any of them. I may pick one or two of my ideas and
go gang busters working to get it going, and then another
fun thing comes along and I get excited and go gang busters
getting that one up and running.
There are a few downsides to this. The biggest being I am
in the middle of a bunch of really great projects that
aren’t done! It’s easy to see how this can happen next year
too with all of us excited about our New Year’s
resolutions. What happens to a lot of us is either my
scenario above or the opposite happens – nothing because
you don’t know where to start.
With that said, I have a recommendation on how to handle
this strange phenomenon this year…make very small
commitments that you know you can fulfill. By keeping your
commitments small and simple you will have more flexibility
to change, and more freedom to try different ways to keep
your commitments.
Here are a few examples of what I’m talking about…
Are You Really Committed To Your Career Goals?
Copyright (c) 2007 Deborah Brown-Volkman
Surpass Your Dreams, Inc.
Are you working on your career goals or just going through the
motions? Are you “in” one day and “out” the next? Are you waiting
for your goals to inspire and motivate you, and then you will
jump in completely?
Many of us want a guarantee before we fully commit to our goals.
If only we knew it would work out, then we would not question our
choice or the direction of our future. Guess what? Your career
will not give you the guarantee you are seeking. What you will
get is a strong feeling inside guiding you in the right
direction. Then, you listen to your gut, follow what you hear,
and work on your goals everyday. That’s when momentum takes
over. That’s when you get inspired. That’s when you reach your
goals.
The miracles in your career happen when you throw yourself fully
into what you want to achieve. Will there be bad days and good
ones? Yes. Will you question your future sometimes? Yes. There is
a difference between being “in” versus planning for a time when
you are ready to go “in.” What happens if you are never ready?
How are you ever going to reach your goals then?
So, How Do You Fully Commit To Your Career Goals? Follow These
Four Steps Below:
The Three R’s of Success
We can create what we want, and this is evidenced by the
unprecidented number of people who are starting their own
businesses. How do these people do it? How are so many
people finding success today? They pracrtice the three R’s.
Any endeavor you would begin starts with a question: “What
do I want to come of this? What is my intent?” The first R
for success is RESULTS. What results do you want? When you
are starting a business or a project, clarify what you
want. If you are already leading a department or an
organization, clarify what you want.
Most people in the world do not know what they want. They
know what they don’t want, and so they spend most of their
time thinking about what they don’t want. People complain,
worry, and criticize. None of these actions create what you
want.
Negative Feedback Is An Opportunity
Most of us have difficulty with negative feedback. We tend
to become angry, defensive, or hurt when people offer
negative feedback. We blame the bearer of the information.
Many leaders avoid it altogether, because it strikes at one
of our most prized possessions–our image of self. We like
to see ourselves as effective, skilled, and capable both
with people and task. Negative feedback is an opportunity
that should be welcomed and valued as a great gift.
It is unlikely we can prevent ourselves from experiencing
negative emotion when people give us negative feedback, yet
we need to welcome it anyway. Negative information is
better than no information. If my people are unhappy, if my
customers are unhappy, or if those closest to me are
unhappy–it is better that I know than not know. At least
if I know I can do something about it.
In fact, as leaders we should welcome negative feedback and
even encourage it. On one hand negative feedback is
potentially hurtful and upsetting. On the other hand it is
an opportunity. Complaints and grievances against us are
opportunities to reflect, clarify who we are, and to
envision something new and better.
Here are some ideas on how to turn negative information
into positive opportunities:
Is True Success Active or Passive?
A simple definition of success could be something about
achieving one’s goal or goals.
We often read or hear, “he achieved success” in such and
such a year or upon completion of a project. Success seems
to be viewed by many people as an end in itself. Once
reached, some sort of cup or wreath is given to the victor,
and they remain “successful” for all time. The term is,
somewhat confusingly, applied in several types of
situations. In baseball, a batter may be successful at a
single time at bat, yet not be successful for the entire
game or season. A politician runs a successful campaign
when he or she is elected to the office which was sought.
That same politician may run an unsuccessful campaign and
yet be successful in bringing some important issue or
issues to the attention of the electorate.
So, it is easy to look at success as being, as mentioned,
the achievement of a specific goal, whether your own or
someone else’s. After all, the ballplayer may be wanting a
hit to reach a new record, and his manager may want the hit
to make it to one more playoff so he can hold on to his
job, and the owner may want the hit in order to win the
game and create an atmosphere where he can sell more
tickets to future games.
Develop your Career Resilience
It may be that there’s nothing more disruptive than
experiencing a career change. Frankly, it really doesn’t
matter how big the change is -Â could be as major as a
complete exit from a long term workplace, or it could
involve subtle shifts of role assignments or
responsibilities. Whatever the magnitude, career changes
can leave us feeling thrilled, nervous, sad, angry, hurt,
depleted, disoriented, confused, or even all of the above.
Many indicators point towards the idea that there will only
be more and more of this kind of change. Therefore, career
resilience is one of the essentials you will need to find
and keep good work throughout your work life.
Yes – without resilience, even if you follow the
tried-and-true process endorsed by a plethora of career
coaches and counselors, the longevity of your sense of
workplace satisfaction may suffer.
