Managing Difficult Employees: The Insubordinate Subordinate
In conducting keynotes and workshops for managers and supervisors, I’m often asked about managing difficult employees. Here are some easy tips for exactly what to say, and what not to say in managing difficult employees…especially the insubordinate subordinate.
Let’s say, for example, that you have an insubordinate subordinate. This type of difficult employee, when you meet privately about a performance issue, defiantly remains silent. About halfway through the performance meeting you say to them, “So, what are your thoughts on everything we’ve discussed so far?” If they sit there with their arms folded, looking upset and not talking, you can document silence. Especially if you ask the difficult employee the question a couple of times and don’t get a response. It’s almost like they’re looking at you as if to say, “Are we done yet?!”
Another tip for managing difficult employees like this is to ask the question and wait 15 seconds for a response. If you don’t get one, ask the question a second time. Ask calmly. Don’t let them know they’re starting to rattle your cage and ruffle your feathers!
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Sustainable English and the Communication-friendly Environment
Featured post by Terry Kaufman from YourEnglishSuccess!
One day I went to HSBC to interview my customers and their non-native English speaking colleagues. I wanted to understand their communication case better and get greater insight into Anglophone and non-Anglophone interactions.
During one interview, I was amazed at how eloquently one individual, Mr. Boyer, clearly expressed the essence of Sustainable English:
“An environment is friendly when everyone understands the stakes, objectives, and viewpoints of others.”
As I was preparing my program and notes, I had originally defined it as:
An environment that is friendly towards non-native speakers – it consists of clear English, collaboration, and focus on mutual understanding.
Mr. Boyer expressed exactly what the communication-friendly environment has to offer, when it is implemented and fully operational.
Every native English speaker has the potential and ability to create his/her own personalized environment to accommodate non-native speakers.
Less frustration. More success.
Do you die or pass on?
Featured post by Terry Kaufman from Your English Solutions
Euphemisms replace offensive, difficult words with indirect, vague, and more tolerable expressions. The English language, similar to many other languages, has a rich collection of euphemisms. The communication danger exists when native English speakers use euphemisms with non-native English speakers.
I returned from Los Angeles on Monday because my grandfather had been in the hospital. He was 86 years old. My grandpa and I had a special relationship: He understood me and I understood him. It was a relationship that had love and respect.
Work and family were waiting for me when I returned to Paris. When I met with a French student (who has an advanced English level) on Wednesday, he asked me, “Terry, how was your trip to Los Angeles?”
It was difficult for me to answer. I did not feel comfortable. I replied, “My grandfather passed on.”
My student had a smile on his face and asked, “What did he pass on? A letter? Money? Presents for your children?”
I quickly realized that he had understood “pass on” to mean “transmit information” and “transfer possession of”.
I corrected my vague English and told him, “I am sorry I was not clear because I am not comfortable. In fact, my grandfather died.”
Non-native English speakers may have difficulty interpreting messages in euphemisms and idiomatic expressions. My absence of comfort created a difficult situation because I could not use the verb “die”.
My grandpa…bit the dust…kicked the bucket…bought the farm..met his maker…cashed in…departed…checked out…is resting in peace…is pushing up the daisies…is in a better place…danced his last dance…sprouted wings…got a one-way ticket…DIED.
This particular euphemism is one example of language that is not clear and precise. If I had been clear when I answered my student’s question, the situation would have been more comfortable. I had created a situation that was disturbing.
I learned an important lesson: Be clear and use language that is comprehensible. If you are vague and not precise, you may create situations that are unpleasant, hard, and oppressive.
In loving memory of Jacob Wilk, 1920-2007
Written by Terry Kaufman, English Communications Consultant
The Y.E.S. goal is to promote awareness and empathy when native English speakers communicate with non-native speakers. It provides a complete approach to effectively communicate with non-native speakers and consistency through solutions depending on the native speaker’s needs.
Communicate Clearly to Connect
Do you ever wonder “what to say” when you head off to a
networking event or a client meeting? Do you think it’s
easier to write an email rather than pick up the phone and
have a real conversation? Well you’re not alone. When we’re
busy working at our computers all day, generally alone,
it’s easy to lose the knack of easy conversation. Let’s
face it, the cat really isn’t that interested in what you
have to say. Take a few moments to read a few tips to get
talking again!
As a fan of the TV show The West Wing; I watched with
interest and amusement the “grooming” of the character Toby
Ziegler from Communications Director to White House Press
Secretary. In addressing the media his assistant constantly
reminded him to use the communication skills of wooing a
woman. To be “witty and seductive.”
In winning over our clients or the media perhaps we don’t
need to go that far but is does pay to put some
“personality” into your customer communication.
“Gimme a heads-up on the stuff”: Information about appropriate communication with non-native English speakers
Featured post by Terry Kaufman from Your English Solutions
Based on a true story….
One day, I was waiting to meet a new customer. I was in an office and I heard two people who were speaking in the corridor. One man was French and the second man was American. (The American was my new customer.)
The two men were finalizing a meeting. I listened to the Frenchman. He had a good English level. I think he had an advanced intermediate level. As they were finalizing their meeting in the corridor, the American terminated the conversation with one sentence:
“Gimme a heads-up on the stuff.”
It was interesting when the Frenchman responded, “I will see with my boss and ask him.”
I interpreted that response as a message that said, “I do not understand.”
My new customer, at the time, did not read that remark as an absence of comprehension. He shook his French colleague’s hand and went into his office.
“Gimme a heads-up on the stuff” = Tell me when you receive more information
When a native English speaker communicates with a non-native speaker, it is easy to:
- Use English that is appropriate for native English speakers, but not appropriate for non-native speakers
- Suppose that the non-native speaker understands everything because he or she speaks well
- Not comprehend responses or body language that non-native speakers use to show that there is no comprehension
I think we can say that the French colleague was not sure about the end of the conversation. What exactly did the American want? Numbers? Names? Information? What “stuff”?
When a native English speaker communicates with a non-native speaker, it is important to:
- Presume that non-native English speakers do not understand you
- Be clear and precise about the information you want to communicate
- Give the non-native speaker an opportunity to clarify information and ask questions
- Repeat the sentence the non-native speaker says to be sure you understand the message or idea
- Be conscious of the language you use
This is one example that represents a danger that exists when a non-native speaker experiences a similar situation. The message, “Gimme a heads-up on the stuff” is abstract and not clear. Non-native English speakers cannot interpret the message that exists in idiomatic expressions that are common among native English speakers. If you use English that is not appropriate for non-native speakers, you could create negative stereotypes.
Language barriers are difficult to manage. If strong negative stereotypes exist, it is challenging to cultivate productive relationships.
Of course, “Gimme a heads-up on the stuff” is one extreme example of complicated language that native English speakers use. Consider more usual expressions:
- “Let me know” = Tell/Inform me….
- “I look forward to….” = It will be a pleasure to….
- “Hold on” = Be patient/Wait
The language you use with non-native speakers will influence the relationship you have with them. The idea is not to simplify your language to speak “English for stupid people”. Speak at a level that is appropriate for the non-native speaker you communicate with.
Cultivate relationships…do not destroy them with inappropriate language.
7 rules for a successful communication approach with non-native English speakers
Featured post by Terry Kaufman from Your English Solutions
Communication is effective when a message is clear. As a communicator, you are responsible for the language you use. It is your job to be sure that people understand you. The obstacle is that native English speakers often assume that everyone speaks and understands English.
This assumption can be dangerous and unproductive when you communicate with non-native speakers. Poor communication with non-native speakers may create feelings of alienation, hostility, and resistance due to the ineffective use of English. Those feelings could create an unfavorable working environment.
Here are 7 rules for a successful communication approach when you interact with non-native English speakers:
- Never assume that non-native English speakers understand and speak English. Do not presume that they are capable of using English as fluently as native English speakers. Address differences in language and communication difficulties to create a communication-friendly environment.
- Show non-native speakers that you are making an effort to speak their language. You do not have to be fluent in the language they speak. Try to learn important words and expressions to make a positive impression. If non-native speakers see that you are trying to speak their language, they will make an effort to speak your language.
- Prepare differently. You cannot interact with a non-native speaker the same way you communicate with a native English speaker. Be aware of specific difficulties and prepare ahead of time. Before a conference call, meeting, or presentation, send a prepared written document to the non-native participants. Detail important items and action plans in clear and precise English.
- Be creative. During a conference call, meeting, or presentation, it is important to improvise. Creativity is a key element in successful communication with non-native English speakers. Be attentive to their body language and non-verbal communication. Look for signs that they do not understand. If you sense that your message is not clear, be creative and use different words or sentence constructions. Do not hesitate to clarify by asking, “Is that clear” and “What questions do you have?”
- Use a thesaurus. A thesaurus is the most useful tool a native English speaker can use with a non-native speaker. One vital element of effective communication is the ability to systematically use different words if one word is not clear. If there is a word that a non-native speaker has difficulty with, replace it with a synonym.
- Keep a journal. Communicating with non-native English speakers is a learning process. It takes time to see which methods and techniques work effectively. If you write down your interactions, you can see the techniques that work and the problems to avoid.
- Smile! A smile is universal and communicates more than words. When you are sincere, a smile represents patience, warmth, kindness, and empathy. Those are important qualities you must have when you communicate with non-native English speakers.
Terry Kaufman is an English Communications Consultant. Y.E.S. gives native English speakers effective communication skills that are vital when communicating with their non-native English speaking counterparts. http://www.your-english-solutions.com/
Talking to a Prospect as if to a Friend
While working with a new coaching client, I asked to hear
her sound bite. Everyone needs a good sound bite. A sound
bite, sometimes also called an “elevator speech,” is a one
sentence commercial on what your company does, offers or
stands for. Use it when you meet someone new in business,
use it at networking meetings, and use it on the telephone
as part of your introductory calling script.
Here is the sound bite from my client: Client: We offer
complete marketing solutions. Wendy: (With eyes glazing
over…) Huh?
The idea behind the sound bite or elevator speech is to
communicate clearly, easily and effectively what you do and
why someone else should be interested in what you do.
I asked my client, if a friend asked her to explain what
she does, would the answer be “complete marketing
solutions”? Probably not. And there’s your litmus test. If
a phrase would make a friend think you’d suddenly lost your
mind, don’t use it in a conversation with a prospect! Most
likely, it sounds artificial and probably doesn’t actually
mean anything. That same phrase may be fine in writing, for
your brochure or web site, but it is not as effective in
spoken language, because written language and spoken
language are different.
A Communication Case Where Creativity Is A Solution
Featured post by Terry Kaufman from Your English Solutions
Texas. A place where 31% of the population is Hispanic. A friend approached me one day with an interesting communication case:
As a Real Estate manager, he is fluent in Spanish but the Hispanics in his county speak a particular dialect of Spanish…Tex-Mex. He does not understand Tex-Mex very well. The only way to communicate with his Hispanic clients and workers is in “broken” English.
The difficulty is that the English he uses has Texan slang and complicated sentence constructions. For example, he would say to a worker, “Y’all work’in in that house over yonder?” To a client, he would say, “The estimated property value according to the Hall county appraisal district for this house is $39,500.”
Say what?! What did he say?
For a non-native speaker, if you remove the slang and use clear English the sentences are easier to understand: Are you working in that house (you show the house with your hand)? The price of this house is $39,500 (you write the price on a piece of paper and show it to the Hispanic client).
Visual aids are vital in this communication case. Use paper and write important information. For example, show numbers and words. Images are also important to use. Take photos from magazines to help communicate words. Those are two examples of creative solutions that you can use to manage difficult situations.
Creativity is a necessary element of effective communication. When a non-native English speaker does not understand, the message or idea could be lost in frustration. In an ineffective communication exchange, the communicator (native English speaker) typically loses patience and the receiver (non-native speaker) may be afraid to ask for repetition and clarification.
If a communicator uses creativity as a communication tool, the chances for success are greater.
Less frustration. More success.
Terry Kaufman is an English Communications Consultant. Y.E.S. gives native English speakers effective communication skills that are vital when communicating with their non-native English speaking counterparts. http://www.your-english-solutions.com/
