Copyright (c) 2007 Michael Soon Lee
How would you like an extra $5,000 or more a year? This
money can be earned simply by becoming a better negotiator,
yet most people in the United States rarely take advantage
of the power of bargaining, except on rare occasions when
making large purchases like cars and houses. In other
countries, like Asia, people there negotiate everything
everyday and save thousands.
Negotiating is like a martial arts contest where power,
leverage and timing can mean the difference between winning
and losing. For instance, a martial artist would never go
into a contest without first spying on his opponent to find
weaknesses. In the same way, you can gain bargaining power
by doing your homework. If you’re buying a diamond ring,
for example, find out how long the ring has been on
display, the standard profit margin on jewelry and how
badly the owner wants to sell it. Finding answers to
questions like these could save a lot of money.
Before engaging in contest a martial artist warms up by
stretching. Likewise, a savvy negotiator warms up by
building rapport and finding common ground with the other
party, because people like to do business with people they
like.
Next, fighters will cautiously probe each other looking for
weaknesses. In bargaining this is done by throwing offers
onto the table to see how the other party reacts.
Experienced fighters often use guile to lure their
opponents into range by pretending a blow has hurt them
more than it really did. Similarly, a negotiator could
pretend to be shocked by an opponent’s offer to get her to
come up or go down in price. Visibly showing surprise or
hurt is called flinching and it used by master bargainers
to gain concessions without giving up anything.
Martial artists are taught to read the body language of
their opponents so they can see a blow before it is
unleashed. Experienced negotiators can literally read the
other party’s mind by watching body language and listening
carefully. If a seller says, “My price is $500 but make me
an offer” you know their price is flexible before you even
start. Without saying a word their body language can also
tell you if they like or dislike any offer you make.
Martial artists do not believe in win-win and neither
should you. Even when sparring their best friend they want
to give their best effort. When bargaining, fight for the
best deal possible assuming that the other party will take
care of themselves because they will.
Fighters are supremely aware of time and try to use it to
their advantage by saving as much energy as possible for
the last few seconds of a round when they can score points
against a tired opponent. Black belt negotiators put their
opponents under time pressure by setting deadlines. A car
buyer might visit the dealership only an hour before a
doctor’s appointment so the dealer must give his best offer
before the customer leaves, likely never to return.
In martial arts, as in life, there are unfair fighters who
will do anything to win, so you must protect yourself at
all times. Negotiators must be aware of unfair tactics such
as nibbling, which is asking for concessions after an
agreement has been reached. If this happens to you just
remember this blocking technique, “Before you give a
concession – get a concession.” For example, if a seller
says, “Couldn’t you give me just twenty five dollars more
because I’m not making any money on this deal?” you can
respond with, “If I did, would you throw in the extended
warranty?”
Finally, when a contest ends, fighters will bow to each
other as a sign of respect as if to say, “You were a worthy
opponent” which makes both contestants feel good whether
they won or lost. Negotiators should also congratulate the
other party for having gotten a good deal. Otherwise he
might change his mind and go back on the agreement.
Just like becoming an accomplished martial artist,
achieving black belt status in negotiating takes practice.
Every time you pull out your wallet ask yourself if this is
an opportunity to hone your bargaining skills. If it is –
get out there and earn a black belt!
—————————————————-
Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is the author of the new book “Black
Belt Negotiating†(AMACOM Books, 2007), a world class
negotiator and martial artist. He has bargained on
everything from major real estate purchases to discounts on
gas for his car. Michael shows people how to use martial
arts secrets to gain leverage in any bargaining situation.
His website is http://www.EthnoConnect.com and his phone
is: (800) 417-7325.
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