10 Tips for Dealing With Difficult People

“The disease of me often results in the defeat of us.” Pat
Riley of NBA fame

Do you know any difficult people? Ever worked or lived with
a difficult person? If you answered no to both quetions,
you’re probably not gettin’ out much! Seriously though,
sooner or later we’re all in the position of dealing with
difficult people. Whether we’re managing difficult
employees, or dealing with a tiresome co-worker. Here are
10 easy tips you can put into practice immediately for
dealing with difficult people.

1) Accept, change, or reject: Know that ultimately you only
have three choices in a difficult situation, and when
dealing with difficult people: A) Accept the situation
knowing it may never change. B) Attempt to change your
relationship with them by first changing how you perceive
them, and how you react. C) Reject. In other words, if the
situation with this difficult person is really affecting
your well-being, it may be time to reject the situation and
move on.

2) Don’t lose emotional control. When dealing with
difficult people like antagonists, who purposely press your
buttons, it’s imperative to stay calm. These folks are
purposely trying to rattle your cage and ruffle your
feathers. Don’t give them the reaction they’re trying to
elicit from you.

3) Think before you speak. Once those words are out they’re
pretty hard to take back. And most likely, you have to live
or work with these difficult people every day.

4) Listen more, talk less. Let them vent – within reason.
Listening is the number one tool in communication,
especially when dealing with difficult people. You know
people who just need to vent. Often, once you’ve let them
vent, they’re more likely to listen to you because they’ve
gotten it all out of their system.

5) Step back and analyze the situation from an outside
perspective. When we’re less emotionally involved and cool
our jets, the answers come for how to effectively deal with
these difficult people.

6) Write in a journal. Keep a pad of paper and a pen in
your car. Whenever you’re afraid you might say something
you’d regret, go to your car and write out everything you’d
like to say but never could. Writing is a cathartic,
physical way of getting it out of your system. When you
arrive home, tear it up or burn it. You wouldn’t want them
to find it and become MORE difficult!

7) Consider taking a seminar on dealing with difficult
people. Practicing effective conflict-resolution skills is
important both in the business world and in your personal
life. Success is determined not just by what you know, or
who you know, but by how well you get along with others.
If you’re a manager, supervisor or team leader, consider
training everyone in conflict-resolution. One of the main
reasons teams fail is because the people on the team don’t
like each other. It’s not necessarily the whole team. All
it takes is a conflict between two people. And if they’re
not trained effectively in communication and
conflict-resolution skills, they start focusing more on
personalities than on completing projects.

9) In dealing with difficult people, sometimes you get what
you give. Swallow your pride and give sincere, warranted
appreciation to these difficult people when they deserve
it. Sometimes difficult people are difficult because they
feel under appreciated.

10) Choose your battles. Would you rather be right or would
you rather be happy? There are times when you won’t get
your way. Let it go. Know when to speak up and when to move
on when dealing with difficult people.

“Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting
battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in
itself a victory.” Norman Vincent Peale

—————————————————-
Colleen Kettenhofen is a speaker, workplace expert, &
co-author of “The Masters of Success,” as featured on the
Today Show, along with Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield. For
free articles, e-newsletter, or to order the book visit
http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com Topics: leadership, managing
people, difficult people, public speaking. Colleen is
available for keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars.
http://www.ColleenSpeaks.com